Steven

𝑊𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛’𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝐴𝑙𝑒𝑥:

𝐀 𝐕𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

Steven is my middle son, sandwiched between Michael and Matthew. He was best friends with Michael and oh-so-protective of Matthew, who was 7 years younger. When he was born, he was so anxious to come into this world and he truly made the most of it. He was always bouncing or wanting to go fast. He loved driving anything: cars, boats, motorcycles, and even unicycles. He spent hours on the trampoline perfecting the backflip.

Steven loved drama. He found his purpose very early with a camera and wanted to pursue it. He had his own YouTube channel and enjoyed vlogging, experimenting with content to see what viewers were looking for. He was quick to laugh, quick to make a joke, and always had a smile. He’d dress up as anything. The Easter Bunny, a school mascot, or just mismatched clothes—anything to bring a smile. He was a friend to all.

𝐀 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲

He was 19 years old and away at college for his first year, following his dream in Santa Monica. It was during that second semester that he developed a persistent, severe headache. He sought help from school doctors and nurses and went to so many local hospitals. They all dismissed his symptoms; they thought he was just a teenager seeking drugs. No one ordered an MRI.

One doctor performed a hand test and told him, “𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑡𝑢𝑚𝑜𝑟.” In Steven's words, “𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 '𝑓—𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔.”

𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝.

He passed away at the age of 19 and a half on October 17, 2013, after five months at UCSF Benioff’s Pediatric Hospital.

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐜𝐲

Today, he would be turning 32. I wonder every day what he would be doing. Would he be married like his friends, or have kids? Would his dream have worked out? It is something we will never know.

As short as his life was, he lived fully. He had the absolute best giggle and laugh.

After 12 and a half years, I have come to understand that his soul signed up for this. Maybe for himself to learn something like unconditional love, or for me and others. He made an impact. I feel him still, and he still sends signs, which helps. I can't wait to see him again.

For now, I see his picture and I smile.